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sight hearing taste smell and touch. the five senses that make my days worth living.. how they torture me lying here. i desire only one thing and my treacherous senses prevent it. these senses that provoke the most devilish part of me, my thoughts. the incomplete darkness causes me to hallucinate and picture faces which provokes thoughts, fucking thoughts, endless fucking thoughts preventing my mind from the very thing it craves. peace. why is there no peace for me? where can i find peace? i want to sleep so fucking badly i want to let my brain sleep. i hear a small sound or a fucking large sound for it does not matter. my mind will conjure dangerous thoughts regardless what the sound may be. thoughts that prevent peace, thoughts that prevent sleep. i taste the dryness in my throat. my throat itches. i turn over and try to ignore it. one thought is planted in my mind. water. i wait hoping it will pass. water. try to think of thoughts that will help me ignore it. water. water. water. fuck this.. its endless the torture the madness of my mind. fuck it, its 9am and i havent slept. fuck you. the smell of a day beginning leads my careless thoughts of other days beginnings, better days or worse days it doesnt fucking matter any more since every single day i think of provokes thoughts of a thousand fucking other things. touch. the touch of my bed against my pathetic aching body is endless. how i desire to feel nothing. to bask in the emptiness and timeless serenity that everyone takes for granted every fucking night.
being awake is overrated
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